Bubba and Clem Intervue Instructors
Well now back at the Bubba and Clem Dive Emporium and Gas Station headquarters in the converted 7-11 building, the brain trust is doing some plannin. First theys gotta figger out when to do the grand opening shindig, then theys gotta hire em up some instructors and sto workers, then theys got bekome instructors themseves.
They figger they had better get going on fetching em some instructors so they can get classes going NOW and mal the big bucks. They run em an add in Rodales Scuba Magazine, they done this a while ago. Now theys put em an add in the Atlanta Constitutional newspater. The add read like dis "Wanted scuba instructors, top pay and benefits, knowledge of that high tech stuff a plus call 770 DIV CLEM for an appointment".
The number of instructors calling them was amazing. Heck is everybody an Instructor?
First appointment was a woman, Bubba thunk ( now thats a reel accomplishment ) that womens would be good instructors, and he liked em too. The first woman that theys interview is an older woman, might be 40, but she be reel pretty. She is thin, got short dark hair hand reel long legs. She sashays in wearing a bidness suit and smelling wonderful. Her name is Jackie McCormick. Clem be in charge of the interview and has him a list of questions all writ on the back of a Varsity take out box, complete with that thar orange greese that them chili dogs leak.
He axs her why she wanna work as an instructor? She says she wants to help others discover the beauty of the underwater world and she is tired of corporate America whatever that is, maybe it mean's she turns fries down at the McDonalds, Bubba were gonna axe her but Clem kicks him under the table. Heck, Clem didn't know neither but he didn't want to appear stupid, Bubba don't no no better.
He them asks her background? She is 41 years old never been married got a BS degree in Economics from the Havvad University. She has been divn fer 22 years and has been a PADI Instructor for 11 years, she is one of therm Master Instructors. She hails from Baaston ( Bubba done give her two strikes now ) from a hoity toity family, you know thens wid the nose stuck up in the air. They tell her they will let her no the results of the interview tomorrow.
The next one that ambles in is from some place called Bimini. This here feller looks like a dive instructor, he be builded like a brick outhouse and has reel dark tanned skin, longish blonde hair, and green eyes that look kinda like a snake. He is 29 years old. Hisen name is Josh Wilder. He is also a PADI Instructor, seems most of the instructors are PADI ens. This here feller been working in Bimini fer 4 years and seems to have all the rite stuff,cept he should have dressed better fer the intervue, he is wearing a black speedo and thats all. They tell him that they will let him know tomorrow too.
Bubba and Clem is tired now and its nigh on to feeding time. Clem opts for the Varsity. They drive downtown to that North Avenue institution and get in line to order. Them folks at the Varsity speek a nother language when yelling the orders at the cooks and fetchers. They say something like "give me a nakked dog and a pc, or a bag of rags and a ni pc" stuff like that. Reckon theys understand it causen the order is always what you wanted. Well Clem orders him 4 chilli dogs and some onion rings and a pc ( for you unsoficitated ones a pc is a Plane Chocolate, or a glass of chocolate milk ) and Bubba axs for 6 chili dogs stacked wid onions and some french fries and a big ole Coke a Cola. They sit down in one of the tv rooms and eat while some idiot talks on tv about children and violence. Bubba ends up with more of them orange greece stains on his
Bubba and Clem's Dive Emporium and Gas Station shirt. Bubba gets 3 more chili dogs to take back to Rudy even if it gives him the gas, that dog loves them Varsity dogs.
The boys need em a nap to be able to thank more about instructors and becoming one themseves.
They got em another instructor to interview at 3 pm. This feller is from up North sumwhere. Bubba done don't like him already. He worked fer some magazine so he must be smart. Well he struct in like a banny rooster all full of hisself. Now Clem don't like him neither. This feller starts off talking about how funny the people talk in Atlanta and asks if all Southerners are dumb. Then he opens up a fancy brief case and pulls out his resume, it were 6 pages long. Thes feller had done everything there is to do and he knowed everything too. He thank he was a reel legend. The good ole boys that he was a legend only in hissen own mind. Bubba thinks he has seen this character on AOL too. Clem has had enough of this ole boy so he axs him why of yous knows so much and has did everything how come he don't have his own dive shop? Ya should a seen him dance his way outa that question. They tell him they will let him know. NOT. They rather hirte a pitt bull with AIDS.
They call up the yankee girl first thing and hire her on the spot. She accepts. Then they call that Bimini boy and offer him the job and he accepts too. They even call that jerk from up north and nicely tell him he is too qualified and they is sorry.
Bubba members that pretty cave divn women he meeted the other day had her a birthday tomorrow and he really wanted to do sumthing nice fer her.,
TO BE CONTINUED
Bubba and Clem stories copyight FDU, Inc., 1998