Bubba and Clem Leave New Jerk City

Trouble in Paradise, iffn you call New Jerk City a Paradise. Our heroes got a certifable letter today that said they did not get the proper zoning fer their dive shop. The means that they can't open up in the old gas station.

Thank God that they ( well Clem anyways ) was smart enough to have them a slick Southern lawyer from Waycross, Georgia, hep with the land deal. Edward Bramlet, XII, was none fer heping his patients. He put some kinda clause in the contract that said they could get their money back iffn the zone didn't work out.

To make a long story short, the gots their money back and the rude Real Estate woman had to give back her shinny new station wagon she boughted with the kommision money. Bubba was glad.

Fortunately no work had started on the old gas station so they didn't loose much money. Vinny was reel mad so he brung along his pal Tony to yell at Bubba and Clem. His attitude changed when he laid eyes on the behemoth Bubba.

The boys left New Jerk City and Bubba said hissen shadow would never fall on that there place again. The onlest thang they was gonna miss is the gal in the yeller bikini string thang. Bubba done alread fond out that the cave divn woman, had fibbed to em, she was married with 5 kids and had never been in a cave at all, she just read about it in Sheck's book. She was trying to impress him. Well, Bubba will not miss Mrs. Sandra Berkowitz.

They had em 'nother dilemma. Where was they gonna open up the dive shop now? They settled on Atlanta.

Atlanta was almost perfect. Problem is that there is way too many yankees done been imported there. But a good many folks still talk like Bubba and Clem talk. You know God talks just like em too, yes She does.

They had to figger out what part of Atlanta to open up in. They were regretting havin to do the Real Estate thang again. This time they found themseves a reel nice woman in a place called Avondale. She talked to the boys for hours and splaned the facts about Real Estate in Atlanta to em.

The boys while touring Atlanta discovered a reel cool weenie stand, a place called the Varsity. What a chili dog. Bubba was afeard he might get gas and hoped he could get out of the Real Estate womans can in time.

They done named the place Bubba and Clem's Dive Emporium and Gas Station and they was gonna stick to it. Not to bad cause them high tech divers call what ya breath gas anyhow. Maybe the move south is a reel good en.

They can drive down to Panama City in LA in bout 4 hours. A light done come on in Bubbas pumpkin head. He tells Clem that theys gonna get a brand new bus to haul divers and their junk down to LA in. Clem is delighted that his partner is starting to thank. Heck, Bubba says that they will paint the bus like a divn flag, all white with a red strip. Clem agrees that that there will be a fine bus.

This here bus will have all the comforts of home including AC, a stereo system to play both kinds of music ( Country and Western ), a place to go to the potty, a place to spit your tobbace and even food and Schlitz beer on ice. They even got a big screen tv with videos of Mike Nelson divn. These here bus even got gun racks fer the spearguns. Only thang they need now is a name fer the bus? Any ideas?

TO BE CONTINUED