Bubba and Clem's New Years Party

The Christmas party at Bubba and Clem's Dive Emporium and Gas Station was such a success, the heroes thank they would have em a New Years Eve Party too. The sales from the after the Christmas party sale reached $143,281.17 and they wanted to sellebrate, so theys gonna throw a super party and invite all divers from everywhere, even New Jerk City and Baaston.

The boys are sending by the Fed Ex Delta plane tickets to some of theys special friends from around the world. Few Parkey and his wife down in Belize; Mal Fousek and Pat, his wife from Californeia; Jim Morgan and Colin Taylor also from Californeia; Brett Taylor from Washington, the State, not that hateful place; Joe Gomes from Baaston; Barbara Howard from New England; Nan Evans from Pittsburgh; Clem's yeller bikini string thang girl from New Jerk City; theys dive man friend and hissen son Strip, from Sorysota, FL; Larry the lectrician from Sorysota, FL; and some others what we done forgetted theys name.

They was gonna invite the yankee gal from theys IDC, cept she is too busy cleaning up the mouse's aquarium in Orlando.

Bubba said that theys gonna go all out on the katering fer this shindig. He was gonna have the Varsity fetch out all the feed and a bunch of folks to pass it out. Her called up RC Coke Coler Company and ordered a hole truk full of them 16 oz tall bottles.

Clem is in charge of the booze. He is insisting that anybody that takes to dranking will be hauled over to the Holiday Inn in the scuba bus, the white one with the red strip just like a dive flag, and gived a room to sleep it off. He is gonna collect theys keys at the door. They gonna have all kinda dranks too. Clem has done ordered up four of them bartenders from one of them nakked dancing joints in the reel short dresses to pass out the dranks.

He figgers that there will be about 300 folks there.

Bubba suggests that Clem ring up Uncle Cy Pratt over near Dahlonega, and get him to come on down off the mountain with about 11 jugs of his best shine.

Bubba done axes his old friend, Mavis Jane McGrundy, in Augusta, to design them a special shirt to commemorate theys first New Years bash. Mavis be a reel good art woman. She winned a contest on the back of a box of cereal that got her started in art. Bubba meeted her years ago at a pig calling contest down in Crisp County where she won the blue ribbon and theys been friends ever since. Poor thing is so ugly that when she comes to visit Bubba and Clem in Atlanta, they have to put a pork chop on a leather string around her scrawny neck so that Rudy will let her in the door. But she can draw reel good and don't smell too bad.

Clem is also planning on sending up some firecrackers too. Theys got a friend, Greg Ogle, over in Alabama with a dive store in Huntsville and he knows some of them space men from NASAR over there. He is gonna come to the bash and he said he would axe them space men to make em some reel cool sky rockets to light off at the party. Bubba done always wanted to be a bombardier. They ain't worried about the police neither, theys got friends in low places on the force.

They got to have a band too, its gonna be hard to top Alabama from the Christmas party. Theys friend up in Narshville, TN, said he would take care of it and not to worry none. Wonder who he will get?

The arranging is mostly done cept for what to do with Rudy and the guard gater. Sum drunk will a fall in the cement pond or sumbody will go a skinny dipping and the guard gater will ate them. Rudy hates yankees and will bite them on the arse. They will have Adam load them up in Bubbas big Fod truk and fetch them over to Thelma Higgingbottom's farm in Fayetteville for a few days. She will keep em in trade for a jug of shine and a can of Skoll.

With all the planning finished it just sit back time to reflect on the past year and on the new one to come.

TO BE CONTINUED