Bubba and Clem go in a hole….and Bubba wonders why?

 

Clem is still worried about his lifelong friend's breaked heart and is pondering on how to get the ole boy back. He gotted down again 'bout that there yankee gal since the fishen trip with them crippled chillens.

He figgered that theys need sum excitement in theys life so ole Clem rang up his friend, the Sorysota, FL, scuber man and axed him about cave divn. Ya see Clem knowed that his friend had been diving in them holes since the 1960's and were trained by the late great Sheck Exley.

The Sorysota, FL, scuber man recommended one of hisen friends, a world class cave instructer a named Harry up in North Florida where them divin holes be found at.

Clem tells Bubba what he done planed and old Bubba gets him a gleam about the eyes. Bubba 'members that Tech Divn and all the junk they got to fetch along on the dive. Heck he gonna get to have all kinda divn toys for this cave divn.

Bubba been reeding them posts on AOL bout cave divn. Ifin sum of them clowns can a do it, he should be able to.

Clem a rangs up ole Harry and sets a date to start. First theys gotta do a Cavern Class and they wanted the Sorysota, FL, scuber man to teach that, cept he telled them that Harry be better for all theys classes.

Time is about to be for thays trip to Florida. Bubba gotta have him sum travelin vittles so its off to the Varsity. It only about a 5 hour trip so Bubba orders only 34 chili dawgs pilled up with them stinky onions. While the boys be at the North Avenue Mecca, they ate theys lunch too. Clem orders him 7 chili dawgs and Bubba has 4 heavy dawgs and 4 reguler chili dawga, some fries and three large PCs. Clem drank him a Varsity Orange.

Clem a fears the vapors will come up on ole Bubba in the Truk heading down I75 to Florida,

Theys gonna take the Bubba and Clem Dive Emporium and Gas Station pickem up truk so theys can a haul all the junk what theys need for that there cave divn stuff. Bubba done looked in all the magazines, just like them computer divers, well Bubba jus looks at the pictures cause he don't reed too good. He seen cave divers wearing two big ole tanks, dry suits, knives, a bunch of lights and other toys. Looks like theys going to Mars.

Well Bubba figgers if theys got two tanks him and Clem will have three of them all hooked together, he always wants to be the bestest. They done fixed up one of them 23 meter long hose pipes to the regulater too. And theys got em two regulaters. Bubba got him four computers and a half dozen knives. Clem went down to Coweta County, GA, and had his uncle Cletus rig him up a spot light what shines better than the one on a locomotive, Bubba bets it ain't water proof. They both got em dry suits, theys hate cold.

 

Well Harry takes one look at these rubes and falls down a laughing at theys stuff. He gets em in the proper stuff fer divn in a cavern. Bubba is a still wondering what the difference betwenst a cavern and a cave is.

 

Whilst theys putting on theys costumes, theys a bunch of yappy womans getting into the water. Bubba don't pay em no attention, Clem figgers one of em will scare the fishes off.

 

Well our heroes are now in the water and doing all kinda exercises what Harry has them a doing. Bubba keeps wondering where the fishes and corals is at. He still don't know wherther he is in a cavern or a cave, its cold and theys ain't nuthin to see cept rocks. Bubba will take the warm ocean any day. Fresh water is for showers and mixing with Kool Aid, nothing else.

 

Well low and behold, our group is almost knocked down by them womens heading deep in the bowels of the earth toward that dark hole, now Bubba 'members, that’s the cave. After theys gone a ways Clem shines that locomotive light, and yep all that tar Cletus put on it keeps it waterproof, down in that hole and sees one of them womens a plumb stuck in a crack. Shes a thrashing like a chicken what done had hisen neck rung. Theys a shower of lil rocks a falling off the roof of the cave. She comes out of that crack a backwards and her and the other two a head out to the daylight. Theys little hunks of rock stuck in her rubber hat.

 

Bubba and Clem foller Harry out of the cold, clear water and set down upon a pick nick bench. They take off all theys stuff and climb out of the dry costumes. Bubba tears off a running to the closest tree.

 

Clem axes Harry about that bunch of divers, includen that girl with the rocks stuck in her rubber hat. He just shakes his head. That is all that needs to be said.

 

Bubba decides rigjht themn and there that he ain't gonna go in no hole in the ground, he don't want no rocks stuck in his head, theys enough inside of it already.

 

TO BE CONTINUED