You're probably from Louisiana ifin…

When out of town, you stop and ask someone where there is a drive-thru

daiquiri place, and they look at you like you have three heads.

You have flood insurance.

The four seasons in your year: crawfish, shrimp, crab and King Cake.

You greet people with "Howzhyamomma'an'em?" and hear back "Dey

fine, darlin!".

Someone asks for an address by compass directions and you say

its uptown, downtown, backatown, riverside or lakeside.

Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under.

You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it.

You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the

top of your house.

You consider a Bloody Mary a light breakfast.

The major topics of conversation when you go out to eat are restaurant meals

that you have had in the past and restaurant meals that you plan to have in

the future.

You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used.

The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy

dressed is healthier than a Caesar salad.

You know the definition of "dressed".

You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with

a Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop.

The smell of a crawfish boil turns you on more than Chanel #5.

You wrench your hands in the zinc with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell

off.

You're not afraid when someone wants to ax you something.

You go by ya mom-en-ems on Good Friday for family supper.

You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.

You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws.

You leave a parade with footprints on the top of your hands.

You believe that purple, green and gold look good together - you will

even eat things those colors.

You go to buy a new winter coat and throw your arms up in the air to

make sure it allows enough room to catch Mardi Gras beads.

You have a parade ladder in your shed.

Your first sentence was "Throw me something mistah" and your

first drink was from a go-cup.

You have a special set of grungy, well-broken-in-shoes you refer

to as your "French Quarter Shoes".

Every so often, you have waterfront property.

Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.

You know what a nutria is but you still pick it to represent

your baseball team.

You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall

catching blue crabs.

You watch a movie filmed in New Orleans and say things like "Der

ain't no way they can run out of a cemetery right on to Bourbon Street".

You describe a color as "K&B Purple".

You like your rice and politics dirty.

You worry about a deceased family member returning in spring

floods.

Y ou reply to anything and everything about life here with "Only

in Nahlins".

You have a monogrammed go-cup.

A friend gets in trouble for roaches in his car and you wonder

if it was palmettos or those little ones that go after the French

Fries that fell under the seat.

You move somewhere else - and you feel like you are from OZ and

you moved to Kansas.

You get on a bus marked "Cemeteries" and don't think twice.

You know those big roaches can fly, and you stay sane anyway.