You Might Just Be A Darn Yankee

Iffn...

The sound of Fran Drescher's voice doesn't bother you.

You've watched the movie "Deliverance" and you're afraid to go
on a camping trip. Ever.

For breakfast, you'd rather have potatoes than grits.

You can name at least 4 hockey teams.

You don't know what a moon pie is.

You've never eaten Okra (or black-eyed peas or chicken-fried
steak).

You wonder why people in restaurants don't talk as loud as you
do.

You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun & knife
show.

You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"
correctly.

You've never had grain alcohol.

You are familiar with all the rules to Lacrosse.

You have no idea what a polecat is.

Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, it
goes over your head.

You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a
poodle.

You've never had bangs.

You'd rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.

You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the
house.

You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to
get his own TV fishing show.

You refer to two or more people as "you guys" instead of
"y'all".

You think more money should go to important scientific research
at your university than to pay the salary of the head football
coach.

You prefer a bagel over a donut.

Most of your formative high school romantic experiences took
place within the context of a football game.

You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e., Jim Bob, Joe
Bob,Billy Bob, Kay Bob, Bob Bob)

You get freaked out when strangers in public talk to you.

None of your fur coats are made with real fur.

You don't know what a Piggly-Wiggly is.

You think NASCAR stands for the North American Society
for...(something)

You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

Your idea of a perfect meal is "Lahbsta and Clam Chawdah."

You use the horn in your car more than once or twice a year.

Everything you know about the Civil War you learned watching TV.

You don't "reckon".