Mission Impossible, Well At Least Highly Improbable

Bubba and Clem quit rightly thank theys sum kinda good scuber instructers. Well theys skills and patience just got tried to the max. Sit back my friends, grab a chili dawg or ten and a big ole RC Coke Coler and we will tell ya all 'bout it.

Ya see this here reel cute yankee nurse lady woman shows up fer a scuber class, well she talked the computer CD version at home  and comes to Bubba and Clem's Scuba Emporium and Gas Station for her pool session. Bubba fixes her up with a BC and a rubber suit,  That woman looked reel good in rubber. She buyed her own mask, snorkel, booties and fins. Clem gets her a lead belt.

She has her firstest pool session with a family of foreiners from England. Clem tells Bubba that it is sumwhere up toward New Jerk City with a long right turn over the big pond. Them Brits can't understood Bubba's talking no better than he can theys. It’s a mom and pop and two chillens ( 18 and 19 years old ).

The time in the cement pond goes reel good and soon theys are all done and ready for the opens water.

Bubba is simply amazed ( imagine that? ) at where the Brit boy chillen has done got an ear ring. Hint, it ain't in hisses ear. Bubba figgers that it must have hurt bad to get that place drilled out fer the ring. He tells Clem he was borned with all the holes he is ever gonna have; Clem categorically agrees wid his lifelong friend.

Well theys gonna drive down to Sorysota, Florida, to do the open water diving with theys friends since its reel cold here in Jawga.

Theys go out on the Giant Stride diving boat and theys all get suited up and get reedy to jump into the water. Bubba's ear has done took to paining him, so Clem is gonna be the instructer. Bubba will a sit on the boat an tell lies with Capt Al.

Well no sooner than they get in the water, the reel cute yankee nurse lady woman a comes popping up out of the water and no matter what that charming rascal Clem tells her, she is a gonna get back on the boat. Ya reckon she likes Bubba?

Well betwenst Bubba and Capt Al, theys done talked her into trying to dive again tomorrow and she is as excited as a possum in a corncrib. Fore too long the Brits and a Clem come up all excited about diving. They move the boat and do a nuther scuber dive in the Gulf of Mexico. Them Brits love diven.

As luck would have it, the weather is going sour. Theys decide to do tomorrows dives up at Devil's Den in that sinkhole. Everybody is all excited, even the reel cute yankee nurse lady woman.

Well up at the Den, everybody xcept Bubba and Capt Al get in theys costumes and climb down the steps into the bowels of the earth. Bubba calls this sphincter diving. Well, it ain't too long before the reel cute yankee nurse lady woman comes a climbing out of that hole with something in her pretty eyes cause theys all teared up.

She is all down on herself cause she can't seem to get under the waters without being all scared up. Bubba knows that she can do it; its jus getten her to think it too.

The Brits is all certified, even the lad wid the ear rang in the wrong place. They takes Bubba and the gang to a local Williston, FL, Bar B Q joint called Jimmy's and has sum supper. They got sum hot sauce there what will peel the paint off a '53 Buick. The nice Brits even paid fer the chow. The hot stuff gived Bubba the gas.

Bubba takes her aside and talks to her about all kinda thangs and convinces her to come to the pool in Sorysota, FL, with him for a private, one on one session in the huge cement pond. That Bubba is sum kinda silver tongued devil and a right fair scuber instructer too.

Well theys meet at the cement pond and Bubba spends a lot of time with her just doing the simple thangs like breathing under water and looking at band aids. Bubba thinks that the rubber suit might be constricting on her so he has her take it off. She is doing reel good now. They do some no mask swimming and she is taking to it like white on rice. They come up and her mask is all fogged up so Bubba reaches up his rubber suit sleeve and extracts some refog and gives it to the reel cute yankee nurse lady woman. He tells her to keep it for the next time. Well since she ain't got no rubber costume on she puts the defog in the front of her bathing suit. Cleavage has got a new definition, wow, heck, Bubba thanks that lady could carry a tall can of Miller Beers or a small animal in there.  Bubba deems her ready to go to the open water. The reel world a beckons.

The wind is a still howling and the seas is down right nasty, so theys opt to head to Crystal Lake down in Cape Coral, FL. Clem is a gonna be the instructer since Bubba's ear is a really paining now.

The surface support team is reel impotent when diven here. They has to keep a watch out for several nuisance type thangs: (1) aligaters (2) cotton mouth pison snakes (3) dumb arses on Jet Skis. All of these vermin are detrimental to scuber divers.

They make the two dives and she does reel fine and comes up wid a smile that even the Wiegand Brothers Funeral Home couldn't get off her face.  Theys do a repeat the next day to finish her up and get her all certified. A reel diver lady now.

Bubba onlys had to catch 7 gaters, 2 snakes and yell at a yankee boy on a Jet Ski. Them gater tales sho tasted good all fried up over at Captain Trips house.

This reel cute yankee nurse lady woman is so xcited about being a reel diver she jus don't know what to do. She gives ole Bubba, and Clem too, a big ole hug and tells them they are special and she thanks them for not given up on her and helping her through these trying times. A big tear wells up in ole Bubba's dazzling blue eyes.

The reel cute yankee nurse lady woman has got to head back to some place up near New Jerk City where she lives; ya see she is one of them road show nurses, ya know "have enema bag, will travel". Her new boyfriend is a waiting fer her. She is sure gonna miss the boys.

Back in Atlanta, Bubba tells Clem he is famished and needs to feed. It's off to the Varsity in Clem's new Vette for a gastromical feast on them chili dawgs dripping that red grease and piled to the sky wid onions. Bubba wonders if she ever found that refog.  Its good to be back in the South again; Florida is the onlyst place in 'merica where one has to go North to get in the South. Look away, look away Dixie Land.

TO BE CONTINUED if the good Lord is willing and the creeks don't rise