NORTH vs. SOUTH

Everything Southern has its Yankee counterpart.

Here's how to tell which is which:

The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes

The South has 'mater samiches

The North has coffeehouses

The South has Waffle Houses

The North has Mom

The South has Mama

The North has dating services

The South has family reunions

The North has switchblade knives

The South has Lee Press-on Nails

The North has saving the whales

The South has getting saved

The North has double last names

The South has double first names

The North has sensational tabloids

The South has neighbors

The North has Ted Kennedy

The South has Jesse Helms

The North has an ambulance,

The South has an amalance

The North has the Mafia,

The South has NASCAR

The North has Indy car races

The South has Swamp Buggy races

The North has multiple branched family trees

The South has family trees with trunks and no branches

The North has Cream of Wheat or Oatmeal

The South has grits

The North has green salads

The South has collard greens and chitlins

The North has lobsters

The South has crawdads

The North has Distilleries, Breweries, and liquor stores

The South has stills, shine, and them ridgerunners

The North has flower gardens, bird baths, and flagpoles in front yards

The South has cars on blocks, pink flamingos, and washtubs in front yards

The North has the rust belt

The South has the Bible Belt

The North has Dan Quayle

The South has Bill Clinton